living by my mind and not heart

So Yesterday I wrote about what I learn't from Beyonces' documentary life is but a dream. Yes I found that she lives from the heart, but for me, to live for from the heart is a dangerous thing. I personally need to live from my mind, or the word of God. Emotions for me, well unbalanced emotions for me, can derail my whole life. God gave us our mind to read the word of God and apply it to our situation. I've been through that whole period of trying to figure life out through philosophy. I'd rather live through my mind from the scripture I remember. I nearly made a stupid mistake cos of listening to my heart. Through every situation, I gotta keep my emotions in check.
I think with us ladies, we become so confused by love, but like the saying says, if he loves you, you'll know, if he doesn't you'll be confused. When a man wants you, there's nothing you can do to stop him and when he wants to leave, there's nothing you can do to make him stay... A guy at work has been confusing, acting like he likes me, but never doing anything about it... then my friend told me, that her mom told her, that if a guy likes you, he'll flat out tell you. Then I looked at my situation then my friends situation. This guy is asking her out, he's a pastor, already talking about marriage, how much he loves her... so from this, whats evident, that he does love her.... my situation, he aint saying nothing... please just a side note, I have two other guys asking me out at this point in time and they're also always telling me how much they want me in their lives...so from this, is the silent guy inlove.... never that... it's so clear that the ones who risk humiliation, risk rejection, now those are the one's inlove... but sadly, when we like someone, we ignore all logic, we believe the heart and the bible clearly warns us to not follow our hearts(Jeremiah 17:9)... it's time for me to let it go now... I gotta move on, and keep my sanity.

Beyonce

I'm watching beyonces' documentary called life is but a dream and I've also watched her own interview with Oprah. What did I get from this, life is a progression of choices we've made that God has allowed cause he knew they'd be for our benefit. We have to make the choices and not wait on him to make the choices for us. That's how we experience the beauty of life, God wants us to be strong and trust ourselves. Obviously he knows whats best for us, that's how he says no or wait, but we have to make decisions. We'll sometimes run into collisions in life, but that doesn't mean that God has forgotten our dreams, we gotta keep pushing to get our dreams come true. Don't stop believing, no matter what happens, don't stop believing that your dreams will come true. No matter what what they say about men, there is a good man out there who will love you like ephesians 5 says, like how Jesus loves us, a godly love that is spiritual... the way she loves jay and how she talks about his love for her... its spiritual, it's beautiful, it's Godly, she says carrying his baby has made her love him more, love is not explainable, so many people try to explain love and write about it, but it's beyond our human thinking, no one has mastered it's meaning and how or why it comes about, isn't that the same with God (cause God is love)... I do believe that love is spiritual, cause sometimes you know what you want in a guy, but then you meet someone who's not that but you just love them still, you can't explain it. There's no recipe for it, it just happens through a spiritual connection... after all that I've been going through, I needed to watch that Beyonce docie, she's a beam of love, love from her dad, love for nephew julez, love to empower women.... learning to just live life from the heart and not from recipes or methods, doesn't it make it more exciting when it's from the heart cos that's where God lives, in our hearts.

Jeremiah 3:33-34

“I will put my law in their minds
    and write it on their hearts.
I will be their God,
    and they will be my people.
34 No longer will they teach their neighbor,
    or say to one another, ‘Know the Lord,’
because they will all know me,
    from the least of them to the greatest,”
declares the Lord.





1 John 4:12

No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

8 ways of being a better wife

To all the married  people out there, I really thought this was an amazing article from the black and married with kids blog, please enjoy

click here

The grace revolution

I hear many grace centered preachers talking about " Jesus has done it all, stop trying to peform in trying to please God, Jesus has already done that, there's nothing left for you to do, Jesus has done it all"

Well I'm a bit of a peformer and wana please, so this got me thinking... must I stop cause Jesus has done it all.

Then I remembered that God is my father in heaven, now which child doesn't want to make their father happy through doing things. We wana get good marks so I parents can pat us on the back, from experience there's nothing more devastating to a child than when they try to please their parents and they don't recognise it.

I know that as christians we've gone through stages in life where we feel that God hasn't recognised our good efforts, but he does all things in his time, and we just have to respect his wisdom cause he's an all knowing God. He knows whats best for us, than we do, we just have to trust him.

Now back to that point of trying to please God, I'm reminded of James 2:17 which says: " So also faith, if it does not have works (deeds and actions of obedience to back it up), by itself is destitute of power (inoperative, dead)."

See it's biblical even in the new testament to please God with works of obedience. James in the second verse talks about how even demons know God,but to just know God means nothing if we aren't doing good works of God.

So don't be shy or scared to please your father in heaven.

However what I've realised is that it's hard to please God, no matter how much we try we sometimes fail, but thanks to Jesus we have been given grace, it's through grace that we can overcome sin and do what God wants us to do.

2 Corinthians12:9

"Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."

Now you know why they say grace is amazing, God has given us the power to make him happy.

Loving someone who annoys you

Loving someone who annoys you or has habits which are irritating is not easy.
However by looking at Jesus it's evident that love isn't easy cause it requires sacrifice or giving up of yourself.

Jesus gave up his throne in heaven & lived here on earth, then he continued and gave up his life as a sacrifice for our sins. He gave up so much of himself, simply because he loved us.

In order to show our brothers and sisters love we might have to sacrifice certain shallow charactristics which we've allowed to take residence in our hearts, like anger & impatience. These maybe things we have to sacrifice so that we can love our brothers & sisters.

The only way in which a romatic relationship can survive is if selflessness drives the relationship. You have to give up your time for date nights, special messages to make not you happy but your partner happy. You always have to keep in mind what makes the other person happy so that they'll want to continue being with you. You then give of yourself to do what makes your partner happy.

Same with loving our brothers and sisters, we have to be selfless, there's something we have to give up, and giving up something is never easy, that's why loving our brothers & sisters can seem hard at times.

Singleness Quotes

I've taken the following quotes from Amanda Ferguson's facebook status. I really enjoy reading her tweets cause they're so encouraging, hope you like :) You can also follow her on twitter @Ferguson_Mrs

"Dear Sis, don't behave like his wife until you ARE his wife. Living together before marriage, running all his errands, getting a bank account with him......No. "Sampling" what marriage is like is never the route to go. After all, why should he marry you, if he's getting everything he wants for free? My heart especially goes out to women who are dating/courting men who have not given themselves to ...be in a committed relationship with them: DON'T go out of your way to spend all of your time with men who are obviously not ready for u. Chill. Relax. Men are hunters; let them hunt. And if that man wants you, he will take the necessary steps to wed u. Period. God will send you the right man for you IF YOU DO THINGS THE RIGHT WAY. If God did it for me, when He sent me Jonathan Ferguson, He can do it for u! He has only the BEST in store for u! Refuse to Settle for less than God's Best:)"

"I truly appreciate all of the feedback, everyone. My heart's desire is to see everyone live life abundantly. However, I have a special passion to empower women. Know this, ladies: You are a jewel. You are royalty. And the man that God has ordained for you will treat you as such #imawitness"

Living in Love, living in God.

As humans we are unable to perform miracles, but God is able to do all things. (Mark 10:27)

So when the spirit of God is in us,this being God, for God is spirit ( John 4:24) his spirit or God in us performs miracles in order to help people in distress.

This isn't limited to certain people. God wants to use us all to help the helpless, God has all the power to help people who are in trouble or pain and wants to use us to help them out of their distress.

So how do we allow God to use us to help others? God is able to use us to help others when he is living in us.How does God live in us? Well firstly when we accept Jesus as our savior Jesus comes and makes his home in our hearts.

1 John 4:15

"All who confess that Jesus is the son of God have God living in them, and they live in God"

The bible also says the following about God's spirit living in us.

1 John 4:12

New International Version (NIV)

"12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."

When we Love another, we're actually living more and more in God,It becomes God's spirit in us living. why?

Cause:

1 John 4:8

New International Version (NIV)

8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

God is love, so when we live in love, we're living in God, and as we live in God, we can then be used by God to help others, just as Jesus helped people who were sick,poor etc.

When we live in love, it becomes God living and not our limited human nature.

Jesus asked, how would people know that we are Jesus's discples?

13:34-35New

International Version (NIV)

34 "A new command I give you: Love one another.

As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know

that you are my disciples, if you love one

another."

The above verse tells us that you know that someone is a follower of Jesus when they love other followers of christ.

Why is love such a good characteristic to discover if someone is a follower of Christ. Cause the devils children can also prophesy, than can heal, they can quote the bible, but one thing that they have no understanding of is love. Why? Cause love is Jesus.

Now what is love? How do we love each other? Love is not a feeling, its actions

In John 14, Jesus constantly talked about people would show that they loved him by obeying his commandments v21 & v 24. So love is not a feeling, it's doing something, actions show love.

Jesus said that we show that we love him by DOING what he says.

We show that we love him him when we obey him, and when we obey him he makes a home

in our hearts.

So love is doing and we show Jesus we love him by obeying him, so how do we show love to our fellow christian brothers and sisters?

1 Corinthians 13:4-13

New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it k

eeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a r

eflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is loveSo let's go back to love, to Jesus and show who we belong to.

When we are patient, Kind, aren't jealous of another, we don't boast to others about our achievements, when we are honorable, selfless, not angered, forgiving, truthful to them, protect them, trust them, hope and persevere.

The bible says that's how we can show each other love and when we love, we are living in God, Then God Living in us is able to help those unable to help themselves.

It's still about Faith, YOUR faith.

It seem's there are different schools of thought in the church when it comes to the topic of meeting your Godly spouse. Some say we should wait upon the Lord, seek him and he'll supply all our needs while others believe that you gotta go out there and meet other Christian singles, you gotta put in effort yourself.

This is what I say... both groups are right, why? Cause it all boils down to your individual faith.... yours and no one else's.

While Jesus was on earth he performed alot of miracles, healing the sick, casting out demons and feeding multitudes... however you'd think that every where he went he'd be able to perform miracles right? wrong! There was a time when Jesus was actually unable to change peoples lives through miracles,why you ask? Had his power run out? Had he done something wrong? No it was not Jesus... let me write this verse out for you and you'll see why.

Mark 6:5-6 (NLV)

"And because of their unbelief, he couldn't do any miracles among them except to place his hands on a few sick people and heal them.6)And he was amazed at their unbelief"

It was "their" unbelief that resulted in them not being able to RECEIVE miracles from Jesus... Now lets just look at the part that belief or faith played when other people received miracles.

Matthew 9:28-29 (NLV)

28)"They went right into the house where he was staying and Jesus asked them , Do you believe I can make you see?" "Yes Lord, they told him, we do."

"29) Then he touched their eyes and said "Because of your faith it will happen" v30) Then their eyes were open and they could see!"

And there are many accounts in the new testament where Jesus tells people that it's through their faith that they've received their miracle. (Matthew 9:22) (Matthew 9:29)

So with regards to people in the church having different opinions when it comes to meeting one's Godly spouse, this to will be determined by what one puts faith in.

If you believe that God will match you while you seek him, it will be just as you've believed. You will indeed find God as you seek him and he will match you with the partner whom he deems is perfect just for you. (Matthew 6:32-34)

And if you pray and go out there looking for a man or woman on your own cause you believe it's the right thing to do, that's what you believe and it will be so. Cause the bible says: Mark 11:24 "I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you've received it, it will be yours."

Many women & men will tell you that they had a list of the traits they wanted in a husband or wife, and God brought to them a husband or wife who was exactly that. Others will tell you that they told God that they'll leave everything to him, cause he knows them better than they know themselves, and God brought them a mate who was imperfect but perfect for them as in equally yoked he's Good at the things you're bad at & vice versa. But do you see that whatever these two types of woman/men believed God for he answered them? Cause why? of their faith. That's what they believed in.

I'm not married nor have I ever been but I know that in (Matthew 6:32-G34) Jesus said we should first seek the Kingdom of God above all things, not some things but all (that's including a Godly spouse) will be added on to us.

And I'll leave you with that.

Kris Jenner & Robert Kardashians love lesson.

Image from:

http://www.gossipwelove.com/2012/01/reason-for-robert-kardashian-kris.htm

So yesterday was a public holiday in South Africa, while lying in bed just after I'd woken up I was busy checking my twitter & someone tweeted about how good Kris Jenner's autobiography was.

I had seen her autobiography in the book section at CNA & I hadn't really thought it'd be a good read cause I mean with all the publicity the Kardashians get, we already know everything.

But then I decided to buy it and give it a try. Well you know it wasn't anything Shakespearean nor was it a bad read, but I just couldn't stop crying at how much love her first husband (Robert Kardashian senior) had for her. My word I want my own Robert Kardashian senior! He pursued her for the longest time, the saddest

Image from : http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1358090/How-Kim-Kardashians-mother-Kris-Jenner-built-65m-empire.html

incident in his pursuit was when she was supposed to arrive at the airport cause she was flying in to meet him. He waited with a bunch of roses in his hands and she never showed up.

But he just would never give up, even when her boyfriend at that time hit Robert Kardashian senior cause he'd found Kris and Robert together. He still persisted.

When he finally started dating her, because he was a born again christian, he suggested that they should stop having sex cause it's against what God wants, like this was a thirty something year old man, Beautiful.

When they got married she was 22, he treated her like a queen and introduced her to this cinderellla Beverly hills life, filled with the most influential people of that time, and she was only 18/17 when they met. He was 12 years her senior.

He was so successful that she became a stay at home wife, his friends loved her, the in laws adored her. What more could one desire?

But their romance ended when she cheated on him with a younger guy, and the crazy thing is for 3 months he'd catch her countless of times & he'd stay with her. Talk about a man loving you.

But the lessons I learn't from her story were as follows :

1) Dreams come true.

2) There are good men, oh my goodness very very good men, faithful, God fearing , loving oh so loving men ie : Robert kardashian senior

3) There is nothing called failure, learn from your mistakes and continue to believe that God has forgiven you cause he's a loving God, He'll bless you again for what you lost. After Kris had lost the good man that was Rob Kardashian she was blessed with Bruce Jenner.

4) Love is very real and alive.

5) I know I'm not an expert or anything, but what I realised & what she even said in her book was that you should always work it out cause marriage aint always gonna be all highs. Cause what led her to cheating was the loss in the passion they had once had.

Those were the lesson's I learn't from her book, it was a relaxed read & I enjoyed it.

From an interesting article I read called are you ready for a relationship

Recently read an article which confirmed to me what love is about. SELFLESSNESS but what I also discovered from the article by Delano Squires is that you can't be in a relationship when you can't give your time, emotions etc. Its about giving.
click the link below to read the full article :

Are You Really Ready For A Relationship?

"People are naturally inclined to look out for their own interests, but relationships can’t flourish if we consistently act out of selfish motives." Delano Squires

"Love expresses itself through giving (e.g., time, resources, etc.)." Delano Squires

"Healthy relationships often require us to put the needs of someone else ahead of our own. This is hard to do if our only concern is what someone else can do for us. Before you make a commitment to someone be sure you at least know what you can offer a potential mate emotionally, socially, financially, and spiritually. You’re probably not ready for a relationship if you only want to spend time when it’s convenient for you or only think about gifts when you’re receiving them." Delano Squires

"The key is not eliminating standards, however, but focusing them on the things that matter most. A person’s “list” should be composed of traits that are absolute necessities, leaving room for flexibility in areas that are “nice-to-haves.” Delano Squires

The love word

"Ladies Men arent complicated, if we say we love you and show it, its for real"

Quoting @Gentlemenlegacy from twitter.

Revelation on love

I've had a revelation of what love is. Its being selfless, where the other persons Joy is placed above your Joy and uncomfortability.
Its doing what you have to do (within sanity) to make the other person happy.
This is in a human love relationship.

Many couples are different, have different personalities.
This is how they can come into agreement, Quoting Joyce Meyer:

There are no two people who need to get in agreement more than a married couple. God has done so much for Dave and me since we have gotten out of strife and learned to humble ourselves to the point that we don't have to be right all the time. Many wars are started in our homes over unimportant issues that don’t matter, such as whether to turn left or right out of the neighborhood when both streets go to the same store. If you want to have power in your marriage and in your prayer life, then you have to get along. You can learn how to "disagree agreeably" without causing strife.


The big question is: How do people who are not of one mind learn to agree? Agreement comes when the people involved stop being selfish. A lot of adults still deal with selfishness. All that selfishness amounts to is, "I want what I want when I want it, and I don't really care what you want because I want what I want." Selfishness is an immature inward focus. If each one of us will learn to voice our wants, but choose what best serves everybody in the family, then we will find peace. The key is to care about what the other person needs, be willing to humble ourselves, and do what we can to meet those needs.
http://www.joycemeyer.org/articles/ea.aspx?article=two_are_better_than_on
Link To Joyce Meyer article
http://www.joycemeyer.org/articles/ea.aspx?article=two_are_better_than_one

Also Joyce Meyer Continues to say on a different article:

Love is the highest form of maturity. It often requires a sacrificial gift. If love doesn't require some sort of sacrifice on our part, we probably don't love the other person at all. If there is no sacrifice in our actions, we are most likely reacting to something nice they did for us, or simply pretending to be kind to gain some control over them. Love is almost always undeserved by the person who receives it.
Our decisions should always have our spouse's interests in mind. Even a mediocre marriage requires sacrifice. It is important to understand that true love gives of itself.
Sacrifice means you are not going to have your way all the time. This means both the husband and wife are called to love each other with unconditional love. There has to be sacrifice of selfish desires if a couple is going to enjoy a triumphant marriage. As for me, every day when I get up, I choose to have a good marriage. I'm not leaving that one for chance to decide!

http://www.joycemeyer.org/articles/ea.aspx?article=how_to_make_your_marriage_succeed

This is from Kenneth Copeland Ministries:

Strife is deadly. It opens the door for the devil to steal, kill and destroy our home life. Any time we’re in strife, we give the devil permission to take us captive—at his will. Second Timothy 2:24-26 says, “And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient. In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; and that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.”

Strife gives the devil the upper hand! Throughout the Scriptures, God warns us about the danger of strife. Yet, it’s still one of the most common problems among believers. Of course, we don’t purposely let it in. We don’t wake up in the morning and say, “I think I’m going to stir up some major strife at home today.” We just inadvertently let it slip up on us—one minor irritation at a time.

If you have a tendency to let things irritate you, then decide to overcome that tendency. Take a big stand against those little opportunities for strife. If you’ve spent a lifetime getting your feathers ruffled over every little thing, it may take a while for you to break that habit, but you can do it. You may have to work at it a moment at a time, but when you do, you’ll be in a place where God can guide your steps and save you from some grave mistakes.

Strife feeds on selfishness. And one of the easiest places to remain selfish is with those dearest to you, in your own home. Being in front of other people often provides an added incentive to operate in love. You can find yourself being nicer and more courteous to friends and acquaintances than to your own family. At home with your family, temptation can come to allow selfish privileges that promote disharmony—as if selfishness had no consequences at home. You may find yourself saying things to those close to you that you wouldn’t dream of saying to anyone else. Thoughtless, hurtful words spoken to our spouse or children can set us up for a strife-ridden home life.

Disagreements happen in every relationship, but it’s more important to avoid strife than to appear justified in our opinions.

So how do we stop strife? We do it by going to the Word of God to seek His wisdom in settling disputes. The wisdom from above is peace, loving and easily entreated, willing to yield to reason.

A husband and wife will see things differently, but if they are both committed to the Word, strife can’t exist. If each of them walk in love and give the Word of God first place in their life (instead of selfish desires), Satan will have no foothold to bring disharmony and division. Allowing the Word of God to be the final authority in settling disagreements will take the pressure off everybody and it will restore harmony in your home.

A Christian husband and wife who learn to live and pray in harmony are mighty instruments of the Lord Jesus. When they agree and pray together about something, it will come to pass (Matthew 18:19). The rewards of living in harmony and backing each other with prayer are more than worth the effort it takes to walk in love with each other.

http://www.kcm.org.za/index.php?option=com_realhelp&task=article&id=300&Itemid=139

With God it means that we obey God even when it hurts, because we love him we strive to make him happy. Thats why the apostle Paul said he dies to self 1 corinthians 15:31 "i face death every day and die to self. He dies to making his life about making himself happy, but it's about making God happy, cause he loves God (Jesus Christ).He dies to the selfishness of making himself happy but to making God happy. Selflessness means that we move from making our lives about us, but out God.


1 John 2 : 5, "but those who obey God's word truly show how completly they love him"

In a relationship there's three people, God, your partner and you. Your love should be guided with making God happy.
Ecclesiasted 4:12
"Three are even better, for a triple braided cord is not easily broken"

letting go

My pray, is for God to help me let go of literally everything in my past. I've been seeing so many posts on my facebook about letting go of the past. Such as, '' if u carry bricks from your past relationship to the new one you will build the same house'' and in order for God to do a new thing with you must be willing to let go of your past.

what I forgot.

my longest and lasting relationship was one in which i actually went out of my way to make it work, I was the perfect girlfriend and I made sure of it... I gave and showed love.

Think through the years, after that, I lost my touch... Mainly cause I was scared of being hurt again.

Think I have to go back to that again...