living by my mind and not heart

So Yesterday I wrote about what I learn't from Beyonces' documentary life is but a dream. Yes I found that she lives from the heart, but for me, to live for from the heart is a dangerous thing. I personally need to live from my mind, or the word of God. Emotions for me, well unbalanced emotions for me, can derail my whole life. God gave us our mind to read the word of God and apply it to our situation. I've been through that whole period of trying to figure life out through philosophy. I'd rather live through my mind from the scripture I remember. I nearly made a stupid mistake cos of listening to my heart. Through every situation, I gotta keep my emotions in check.
I think with us ladies, we become so confused by love, but like the saying says, if he loves you, you'll know, if he doesn't you'll be confused. When a man wants you, there's nothing you can do to stop him and when he wants to leave, there's nothing you can do to make him stay... A guy at work has been confusing, acting like he likes me, but never doing anything about it... then my friend told me, that her mom told her, that if a guy likes you, he'll flat out tell you. Then I looked at my situation then my friends situation. This guy is asking her out, he's a pastor, already talking about marriage, how much he loves her... so from this, whats evident, that he does love her.... my situation, he aint saying nothing... please just a side note, I have two other guys asking me out at this point in time and they're also always telling me how much they want me in their lives...so from this, is the silent guy inlove.... never that... it's so clear that the ones who risk humiliation, risk rejection, now those are the one's inlove... but sadly, when we like someone, we ignore all logic, we believe the heart and the bible clearly warns us to not follow our hearts(Jeremiah 17:9)... it's time for me to let it go now... I gotta move on, and keep my sanity.

Singleness Quotes

I've taken the following quotes from Amanda Ferguson's facebook status. I really enjoy reading her tweets cause they're so encouraging, hope you like :) You can also follow her on twitter @Ferguson_Mrs

"Dear Sis, don't behave like his wife until you ARE his wife. Living together before marriage, running all his errands, getting a bank account with him......No. "Sampling" what marriage is like is never the route to go. After all, why should he marry you, if he's getting everything he wants for free? My heart especially goes out to women who are dating/courting men who have not given themselves to ...be in a committed relationship with them: DON'T go out of your way to spend all of your time with men who are obviously not ready for u. Chill. Relax. Men are hunters; let them hunt. And if that man wants you, he will take the necessary steps to wed u. Period. God will send you the right man for you IF YOU DO THINGS THE RIGHT WAY. If God did it for me, when He sent me Jonathan Ferguson, He can do it for u! He has only the BEST in store for u! Refuse to Settle for less than God's Best:)"

"I truly appreciate all of the feedback, everyone. My heart's desire is to see everyone live life abundantly. However, I have a special passion to empower women. Know this, ladies: You are a jewel. You are royalty. And the man that God has ordained for you will treat you as such #imawitness"

Sexyness and being a christian Lady

So Meagan Good got some real hate for doing a burlesque show as she is a christian lady and many felt that it was the unchristian thing to do.

Well you know, I love Meagan, I look up to her and find inspiration in certain parts of her life, so what do I think of it? I think it's her personal faith and relationship with God.

If we all concentrated on our own personal relationship with God we wouldn't have time to judge other people, which the bible does say is ungodly.

What I admired about the interview she did on the whole thing of people judging her about her doing a burlesque show is that she said that she has a relationship with God, she talks to God and he has not convicted her of being sexy.

While I'm writing this I'm reminded of this scripture

John 21:21-22

New International Version (NIV)

21 When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?” 22 Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.”

So the question is, what's it to us and we should "follow" Jesus and stop judging other people and how christian are they are or not.

When Jesus said in the above verse "what is that to you, You must follow me"

He was saying stop focusing on other people's christian life, instead your focus should be on your own christian life and relationship with God.

Sometimes I look at other woman in church and think to myself, wow they're so spiritual cause they can speak in tongues, prophesy etc. From Meagan Good's interview I've realized that my personal relationship with God is no less than someone else's. It's special. Being super religious doesn't mean you have God's heart more. God loves us all with the same amount of love, which is unconditional and unlimited.

Also I shouldn't be concerned about them and their relationship with God cause as the above scripture says, what's it to me? I should be concerned with following Jesus.

I've also learn't that I shouldn't look down on my quite time with God by constantly reading revelations other woman have had just because they head a church or something.

In my quite time is the time in which God speaks to me about my personal circumstances so that I won't be led astray by different views and advises.

Cause sometimes we think that what worked for someone in a situation will work for us, but everyone's life is different and the answers we need to apply to our own personal situations we get from God through spending time with him.

The commandment which Jesus left us with is to love one another, I personally don't know Meagan Good well but reading her tweets,answering her followers, the way in which she answers interviews... She exudes that Godly love and love is what Jesus said we'd be identified by as his disciples.

It's still about Faith, YOUR faith.

It seem's there are different schools of thought in the church when it comes to the topic of meeting your Godly spouse. Some say we should wait upon the Lord, seek him and he'll supply all our needs while others believe that you gotta go out there and meet other Christian singles, you gotta put in effort yourself.

This is what I say... both groups are right, why? Cause it all boils down to your individual faith.... yours and no one else's.

While Jesus was on earth he performed alot of miracles, healing the sick, casting out demons and feeding multitudes... however you'd think that every where he went he'd be able to perform miracles right? wrong! There was a time when Jesus was actually unable to change peoples lives through miracles,why you ask? Had his power run out? Had he done something wrong? No it was not Jesus... let me write this verse out for you and you'll see why.

Mark 6:5-6 (NLV)

"And because of their unbelief, he couldn't do any miracles among them except to place his hands on a few sick people and heal them.6)And he was amazed at their unbelief"

It was "their" unbelief that resulted in them not being able to RECEIVE miracles from Jesus... Now lets just look at the part that belief or faith played when other people received miracles.

Matthew 9:28-29 (NLV)

28)"They went right into the house where he was staying and Jesus asked them , Do you believe I can make you see?" "Yes Lord, they told him, we do."

"29) Then he touched their eyes and said "Because of your faith it will happen" v30) Then their eyes were open and they could see!"

And there are many accounts in the new testament where Jesus tells people that it's through their faith that they've received their miracle. (Matthew 9:22) (Matthew 9:29)

So with regards to people in the church having different opinions when it comes to meeting one's Godly spouse, this to will be determined by what one puts faith in.

If you believe that God will match you while you seek him, it will be just as you've believed. You will indeed find God as you seek him and he will match you with the partner whom he deems is perfect just for you. (Matthew 6:32-34)

And if you pray and go out there looking for a man or woman on your own cause you believe it's the right thing to do, that's what you believe and it will be so. Cause the bible says: Mark 11:24 "I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you've received it, it will be yours."

Many women & men will tell you that they had a list of the traits they wanted in a husband or wife, and God brought to them a husband or wife who was exactly that. Others will tell you that they told God that they'll leave everything to him, cause he knows them better than they know themselves, and God brought them a mate who was imperfect but perfect for them as in equally yoked he's Good at the things you're bad at & vice versa. But do you see that whatever these two types of woman/men believed God for he answered them? Cause why? of their faith. That's what they believed in.

I'm not married nor have I ever been but I know that in (Matthew 6:32-G34) Jesus said we should first seek the Kingdom of God above all things, not some things but all (that's including a Godly spouse) will be added on to us.

And I'll leave you with that.

beauty

One thing I've realised is that all men have different tastes (grateful for that). So there is really no need to be around a man or people in general who don't believe you're beautiful, cause sooner or later that belief will rub onto you.

Ignore or keep away from people who don't celebrate you, life is to short to tolerate negativity. Rather be around people who make you feel good about yourself.

I've learn't that myself. My ex boyfriend liked girls with big behinds, I'm not one of those pear shaped girls, I'm apple shaped with big boobs (that's just the truth). Being around him, he'd always remind me about my butt and he'd always talk about girls with big butts, I ended up feeling low and not beautiful. When we broke up I still felt awkward about my body. Until I met a man who when he looked at my body, his eyes lit up.

That's just it. We all have different tastes, my ex didn't like my body, but that other man did.

I was shocked to hear that Kanye West made Amber Rose feel ugly, I mean in my opinion she has a beautiful body and stands out with her unique look.

I just don't understand why you date someone and make them feel low about themselves.

There is no definition of beauty, we're all beautiful in our own way with our own distinct & individual features. And that's the truth.

From an interesting article I read called are you ready for a relationship

Recently read an article which confirmed to me what love is about. SELFLESSNESS but what I also discovered from the article by Delano Squires is that you can't be in a relationship when you can't give your time, emotions etc. Its about giving.
click the link below to read the full article :

Are You Really Ready For A Relationship?

"People are naturally inclined to look out for their own interests, but relationships can’t flourish if we consistently act out of selfish motives." Delano Squires

"Love expresses itself through giving (e.g., time, resources, etc.)." Delano Squires

"Healthy relationships often require us to put the needs of someone else ahead of our own. This is hard to do if our only concern is what someone else can do for us. Before you make a commitment to someone be sure you at least know what you can offer a potential mate emotionally, socially, financially, and spiritually. You’re probably not ready for a relationship if you only want to spend time when it’s convenient for you or only think about gifts when you’re receiving them." Delano Squires

"The key is not eliminating standards, however, but focusing them on the things that matter most. A person’s “list” should be composed of traits that are absolute necessities, leaving room for flexibility in areas that are “nice-to-haves.” Delano Squires

Selflessnes

Few years back, or months, not really sure, I discovered how powerful selflessness is in building & maintaining harmonious, fullfilling & healthy relationships.
However the acts of selfessness are so wide. One of which i discovered recently was;not talking bout yourself when someone is telling you a story.

I actually have been guilty of talking bout myself when someone is telling me bout something that has happened to them.

So lets say someone is telling you bout a mistake they made. Instead of saying, I would never do that, I always do this. Rather advice her & take the ''I'' out of your advice.

If someone is telling you a story, there's really no need to tell your own experience on a similiar situation. Just let the light shine on that person for awhile.

Well thats something I observed recently on the topic of selflessness.

The love word

"Ladies Men arent complicated, if we say we love you and show it, its for real"

Quoting @Gentlemenlegacy from twitter.

Revelation on love

I've had a revelation of what love is. Its being selfless, where the other persons Joy is placed above your Joy and uncomfortability.
Its doing what you have to do (within sanity) to make the other person happy.
This is in a human love relationship.

Many couples are different, have different personalities.
This is how they can come into agreement, Quoting Joyce Meyer:

There are no two people who need to get in agreement more than a married couple. God has done so much for Dave and me since we have gotten out of strife and learned to humble ourselves to the point that we don't have to be right all the time. Many wars are started in our homes over unimportant issues that don’t matter, such as whether to turn left or right out of the neighborhood when both streets go to the same store. If you want to have power in your marriage and in your prayer life, then you have to get along. You can learn how to "disagree agreeably" without causing strife.


The big question is: How do people who are not of one mind learn to agree? Agreement comes when the people involved stop being selfish. A lot of adults still deal with selfishness. All that selfishness amounts to is, "I want what I want when I want it, and I don't really care what you want because I want what I want." Selfishness is an immature inward focus. If each one of us will learn to voice our wants, but choose what best serves everybody in the family, then we will find peace. The key is to care about what the other person needs, be willing to humble ourselves, and do what we can to meet those needs.
http://www.joycemeyer.org/articles/ea.aspx?article=two_are_better_than_on
Link To Joyce Meyer article
http://www.joycemeyer.org/articles/ea.aspx?article=two_are_better_than_one

Also Joyce Meyer Continues to say on a different article:

Love is the highest form of maturity. It often requires a sacrificial gift. If love doesn't require some sort of sacrifice on our part, we probably don't love the other person at all. If there is no sacrifice in our actions, we are most likely reacting to something nice they did for us, or simply pretending to be kind to gain some control over them. Love is almost always undeserved by the person who receives it.
Our decisions should always have our spouse's interests in mind. Even a mediocre marriage requires sacrifice. It is important to understand that true love gives of itself.
Sacrifice means you are not going to have your way all the time. This means both the husband and wife are called to love each other with unconditional love. There has to be sacrifice of selfish desires if a couple is going to enjoy a triumphant marriage. As for me, every day when I get up, I choose to have a good marriage. I'm not leaving that one for chance to decide!

http://www.joycemeyer.org/articles/ea.aspx?article=how_to_make_your_marriage_succeed

This is from Kenneth Copeland Ministries:

Strife is deadly. It opens the door for the devil to steal, kill and destroy our home life. Any time we’re in strife, we give the devil permission to take us captive—at his will. Second Timothy 2:24-26 says, “And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient. In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; and that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.”

Strife gives the devil the upper hand! Throughout the Scriptures, God warns us about the danger of strife. Yet, it’s still one of the most common problems among believers. Of course, we don’t purposely let it in. We don’t wake up in the morning and say, “I think I’m going to stir up some major strife at home today.” We just inadvertently let it slip up on us—one minor irritation at a time.

If you have a tendency to let things irritate you, then decide to overcome that tendency. Take a big stand against those little opportunities for strife. If you’ve spent a lifetime getting your feathers ruffled over every little thing, it may take a while for you to break that habit, but you can do it. You may have to work at it a moment at a time, but when you do, you’ll be in a place where God can guide your steps and save you from some grave mistakes.

Strife feeds on selfishness. And one of the easiest places to remain selfish is with those dearest to you, in your own home. Being in front of other people often provides an added incentive to operate in love. You can find yourself being nicer and more courteous to friends and acquaintances than to your own family. At home with your family, temptation can come to allow selfish privileges that promote disharmony—as if selfishness had no consequences at home. You may find yourself saying things to those close to you that you wouldn’t dream of saying to anyone else. Thoughtless, hurtful words spoken to our spouse or children can set us up for a strife-ridden home life.

Disagreements happen in every relationship, but it’s more important to avoid strife than to appear justified in our opinions.

So how do we stop strife? We do it by going to the Word of God to seek His wisdom in settling disputes. The wisdom from above is peace, loving and easily entreated, willing to yield to reason.

A husband and wife will see things differently, but if they are both committed to the Word, strife can’t exist. If each of them walk in love and give the Word of God first place in their life (instead of selfish desires), Satan will have no foothold to bring disharmony and division. Allowing the Word of God to be the final authority in settling disagreements will take the pressure off everybody and it will restore harmony in your home.

A Christian husband and wife who learn to live and pray in harmony are mighty instruments of the Lord Jesus. When they agree and pray together about something, it will come to pass (Matthew 18:19). The rewards of living in harmony and backing each other with prayer are more than worth the effort it takes to walk in love with each other.

http://www.kcm.org.za/index.php?option=com_realhelp&task=article&id=300&Itemid=139

With God it means that we obey God even when it hurts, because we love him we strive to make him happy. Thats why the apostle Paul said he dies to self 1 corinthians 15:31 "i face death every day and die to self. He dies to making his life about making himself happy, but it's about making God happy, cause he loves God (Jesus Christ).He dies to the selfishness of making himself happy but to making God happy. Selflessness means that we move from making our lives about us, but out God.


1 John 2 : 5, "but those who obey God's word truly show how completly they love him"

In a relationship there's three people, God, your partner and you. Your love should be guided with making God happy.
Ecclesiasted 4:12
"Three are even better, for a triple braided cord is not easily broken"

letting go

My pray, is for God to help me let go of literally everything in my past. I've been seeing so many posts on my facebook about letting go of the past. Such as, '' if u carry bricks from your past relationship to the new one you will build the same house'' and in order for God to do a new thing with you must be willing to let go of your past.

Galatians 3

Its seems like the church of galatia were being exposed to teachings which were contrary to the gospel. Even at the end of timothy 2, the last chapter. Paul warns timothy that in the end times people will be teaching myths. As much as the book of proverbs tell us to guard our hearts. We need to guard our faith. We live by faith and not our sight, so if what we live by is polluted by various teachings, this would end up spilling over into our the lives we live cos its our faith that coordinates our lives. There are so many ministries and teachings out there. Think one way in which I'll filter which teachings are of God is through ''the good news category.'' The gospel of Jesus christ is said to be the gospel of the good news. Also veryfying what's been taught with teachings of the new testament. If it doesnt coresspond,then its not of Jesus. So many people are preachers,and we really need to guard what we believe & take in cause it will affect our faith and so therefore our lives.

what I forgot.

my longest and lasting relationship was one in which i actually went out of my way to make it work, I was the perfect girlfriend and I made sure of it... I gave and showed love.

Think through the years, after that, I lost my touch... Mainly cause I was scared of being hurt again.

Think I have to go back to that again...