Sunday, November 14, 2010
destroyed love
When some one you love doesn't treat you the way they should, it feels like their actions are like a blanket suffocating your heart. Slowly your hearts stops beating for them and the love dies out.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
worth thinkign about...
have to agree with the over analysing part and trying to find your soulmate
picture obtained from
http://vi.sualize.us/view/flipnotiq/d98e90f2bfe57d0f99ff6dd114d132c9/
picture obtained from
http://vi.sualize.us/view/flipnotiq/d98e90f2bfe57d0f99ff6dd114d132c9/
the best part about it is...
the best part bout being inlove is knowing that he's thinkinga bout you, i love love and love being loved.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
It's more like this
Feel kinda bad for saying that i lost my innocents in the last post, it's more like I've gained something more.
It's not like I've become this don't care person, think it's cause I've finally learn't not to worry bout anything and pray bout everything. I've learn't that God is more powerful than I am, he created life, so I give all my problems to him and after I've done that as psalm 91 says "i find rest in the shadow of the almighty" cause once I've given him my caress I don't think bout em again cause I know and trust that he'll take care of them.
It's not like I've become this don't care person, think it's cause I've finally learn't not to worry bout anything and pray bout everything. I've learn't that God is more powerful than I am, he created life, so I give all my problems to him and after I've done that as psalm 91 says "i find rest in the shadow of the almighty" cause once I've given him my caress I don't think bout em again cause I know and trust that he'll take care of them.
Empty
Woke up today feeling so dead inside. Feel like nothing matters,like whats the point of feeling something towards anything when everything just doesn't last.
Ok that sounded so rhymy, i didnt mean for it to sound like that.
Im like a zombie walking around and just doing what I have to do just please my fam, chances are if they didn't care I probably wouldn't bother.
I've lost all the fascination I used to have for certain things cause they get easily blown away by the slightest storm.
It's like I've lost my innocents, what I now know has turned me into who I am now... So do I wish I could go back to the person I was, not at all, odly enough with this new state Im in I've gained peace, this numbness in my soul allows me to go through turmoil and not be moved by it. Thats just the way it is.
Ok that sounded so rhymy, i didnt mean for it to sound like that.
Im like a zombie walking around and just doing what I have to do just please my fam, chances are if they didn't care I probably wouldn't bother.
I've lost all the fascination I used to have for certain things cause they get easily blown away by the slightest storm.
It's like I've lost my innocents, what I now know has turned me into who I am now... So do I wish I could go back to the person I was, not at all, odly enough with this new state Im in I've gained peace, this numbness in my soul allows me to go through turmoil and not be moved by it. Thats just the way it is.
what the heck?
Could i have been lying to myself...i just wana get away for a while,maybe 6 months, need a new start in a new town and just live for me and not anyone else... if i knew or was close to my family in malawi id go to them and live with them for a while,but i dont so im stuck here.
Im no expert.
I'm no expert on relationships...gosh my past is a testimony to that. So when i got into this one,roughly three months ago, I was like, you know what Thokozani, you can be everything to a man and do everything in a relationship to make it work but when the curtains close and the lights are out, it's over and you can't do anything to change it. Yea in the past I made sure that I was the best girlfriend I could be, but where did that get me? Cause when that man don't want you no more, you can't do nothing bout it but leave with grace.
So when I got into this relationship I told myself that at the end of it all, whether the end be 70 years from now or 24 hours from now, I wana look back and be like I was not the best girlfriend ever but I was the best me I could be and I had a great time doing it.
I wana look back and be like, wow i had such a good time.
You can't go wrong with being true to yourself,so if respecting him is apart of being a great girlfriend, well then good for him cause thats just how I am naturally.
So when I got into this relationship I told myself that at the end of it all, whether the end be 70 years from now or 24 hours from now, I wana look back and be like I was not the best girlfriend ever but I was the best me I could be and I had a great time doing it.
I wana look back and be like, wow i had such a good time.
You can't go wrong with being true to yourself,so if respecting him is apart of being a great girlfriend, well then good for him cause thats just how I am naturally.
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