Day of Reconciliation

Today is an important South African holiday. It's called "Day of reconciliation." The new democratic government of post 1994 has made many attempts to unify all the races in South Africa.In the 1900's, post 1994, a truth and reconciliation commission was held as a mechanism to allow the country to forgive each other for all the past hurts. This commission gave people who experienced human rights violation during apartheid the space to reconcile and forgive their perpetrators. The truth and reconciliation commision in South Africa was the first of its kind and now many countries have followed South Africa. My hope on this day is that all South Africans will come together in respecting their cultural divesity and will walk together each day with the spirit of forgiveness residing in their hearts forever.

Okuhle

I saw my friends baby for the first time yesterday. She's so precious. Her name is Okuhle, which means goodness. Wow babies are just amazing. When I have a baby what will her or his name be...It has to have meaning though. Got to go and think...

Forgiveness.

In my early twenties I have come to realise how important it is we forgive each other. We have no other option but to forgive, thats because people are only human so they're going to make mistakes because thats how we learn and once we've learn't from our mistakes we experience growth. As humans we don't understand how imperative it is we forgive because unforgiveness allows regression,hate and regeneration to manifest. One can observe this through whats occured in Zimbabwe. The black Zimbabweans repossessed the farms of white Zimbabweans unlawfully. They're actions were rooted in feelings of revenge and vegeanance against their white country men,for having oppressed them for many years. Revenge and Vegeanance are actions which are brought about unforgiveness. As a result Zimbabwe is now worse of than it was during segregation. As South Africans we contributed to the ill treatement of human rights in Zimbabwe as we didn't do anything to stop this. As Gandhi said, an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

Helooo world!

Havnt been able to blog, I've been so so so busy. But all in all I've been sweet! What have I learn't bout myself lately? I hate secrets! And hence im bloggn so all can be exposed! Whatelse? Oh there are sweet girls who arent competitive that reside in Durban. Shocker! I know. Oh and that I'm really into tequila! Wtf, i was like the queen bee of teetotalers. Oh well! laaaaaters!

There is no reason.

I just dont think everything happens for a reason. It just happens for the hust of it cos thats how messed up the devil is. I mean what's the reason behind a person dying of starvation in Ethiopia, a kid getting ganged raped...there aint no reason for any of that crap. It happens and there aint no reason for it!

Kinda tired.

Im so tired of dating now. I feel like I've been dating the same type of guy just a different face all this time. I've never actually thought of how they're similair.Probaby that they all lie and make empty promises. Oh jah and they all think they're not the same as other guys. Whatever really cos they're just the same,and the denial makes them worse. I just can't take it anymore,Im so drained and tired. I've never felt so happy being single. Its like being single allows me to be free,from all the lies and empty promises. Nways da zulu name for boys bafana, kinda means the same. So all i gota say is abafana bayafana.

My anger towards Adults.

Old people or adults get to me sometimes. Well some adults that is. They're soooo judgemental, they act as if they came into this world with mature minds and never went through the phase that comes with being a young adult. They act as if they've never made mistakes in their whole lives and were perfect from birth. Watsup with that? We're not given a book of recipes on how to do this thing called life. We do what we think is right and sometimes we find out in the end that it aint right after all, and thats called A LESSON LEARNT. Instead of judging they can seek to understand and support. There's this thing where African parents dont want their children to move out when they start earning money. They go,oh we didnt live in flats when we started to earn a salary. Oh my goodness,and you wonder why so many men are vegetables that are still dependant on their parents. You dont bring up a child and teach them the ways of life only to hold onto them again,they've been taught now they need to implement what they've learnt into their own lives.How can they start a family and take care of children if they cant take care of themsleves first. They can only learn to take care of themselves once they've left home and arent under their parents care. A bird teaches its new born how to fly and once they know how to fly they LEAVE their mothers nest. Hope I'm less judgemental once I'm a fully grown adult.

Childhood obsessions

These are a few things that I loved in my childhood. I LOVED the Phat koe show. I was crazy about Tkzee. I was totally obssesed with Sclub 7. That was me in my chilhood and pre teen years.

My birthday

The 15th of September 1986 is when my life began. Thanks to all my mates for remembering this day. Hope God continues to guide me and bless me with many more years on this Earth.

When I think.

I think of God,i feel his grace,greatness and power. I think of Jesus,I know that he is love. I think of laughter, I miss my friends. I think of my gran, i see selflessness. I think of Nelson Mandela, i love forgiveness. I think of South Africa, i hear joyful songs. I think of partying around the globe, i study. I think of love, I dream of my soulmate.I think of me and I think of how much I want his promises to manifest in my life.

The reason why I started blogging.

I decided to start blogging because I wanted to be honest with MYSELF and I thought that by writing my feelings down I could also see whats swimming in my heart. This is because I tend to ignore that nagging feeling and when it's in writting through my blog I have no other option but to face it.Be more HONEST! I Just DON'T want to sugarcoat things. I want to be real with everything. You're probably asking where is this coming from. Well it's just that I've seen it,in drastic forms and the everyday situation where its like we've lost touch with reality and we think we're bout to break into song after a tragedy like they do in a disney movie. For example Thabo Mbeki saying there's no crisis in Zimbabwe and the HIV thing. Also just seeing how us as young woman can stay with a man and continually lie to ourselves about him lying to us. Like I've done that, my friends have done it,most women do it and it aint pretty. I think also, what hit me was when I heard the lady who wrote beautys gift say something on the lines of we lie to ourselves and tell our friends "oh he bought me this and that for my birthday,when he actualy forgot your birthday and it's the lies which end up killing us" Honestly it's sad. It's not only with men but we also lie to ourselves and stay with toxic friends. Sometimes I think we try to hard to be positive that we end up living a lie. Obviously you gota be positive but within the frames of reality.I wana be more in tuned with my intuition.Its about me and the relationship I have with myself. So I hope that through expressing myself in my blogg, Il be able to face the truth in my feelings.

Yyyeeesss!

Before i wrote the post "time for introspection" i thought peoples values, what they want etc was overlapping with my values or lack thereof(hehehe) and I thought thats why I needed to take time off. However while I was writing the post I realised It aint it. My fear needs to be replaced with faith in God! You gotta love blogging! Live and love, life's toooo short to find its meaning! Mwaaaah!

Time for introspection.

I feel like I need to stop,breath and review my thoughts clearly. Im not a deep person and I never thought I'd say the old cliche statement of... I need to find myself. I was so anti "those kind of deep statements" cause i used to think people who say that just wana sound profound and sound like they're on a philosophy intelect kinda of tip,I was so wrong. Its like this; I know who I am, I know what I want, I know where I wana head to. However people, media and life's obstacles are pushing against it all. Obviously not intentionaly.For example a mate of mine will make a statement, ok Il make an arbitary random example. Theyl say oh green socks made my moms feet lumpy,and then,even though I've been dreaming of buying green socks, my mind will then debate against itself of whether I should or shouldnt buy green socks and who knows maybe her mums feet got infected before she wore the green socks. I need to review and recheck myself, that Im still consistent and havnt allowed temporary situations change anything,in terms of who I am,my core values and beliefs and where I wana head to next. Think Il cut myself of from a few things that distract me, just to get things into clarity and make sure they're not being blurred. There's nothing wrong with change and certain things happen for change to alter our steps when we've taken a wrong path, and its always better to make a change sooner then later but in my case nothing has happened to me in particular which would result in change,like in the example I made,i hadnt worn the green socks yet, Id always wanted them but then my mate made a statement that caused me to fear what Id always wanted...Its the fear which I receive from my mates,random strangers and media.So its evident that I gota give fear... a TKO ;-)

The Inbox of my complexity.

Im a VERY complex individual. I dont do this on purpose but its the story of my life that has left a mosaic of detail in my personality. For example I have family in Malawi and the half of my family originates from eSwazini but i grew up as a zulu chic and I have friends from all over the globe. Im guessing thats where my complex personality stems from. Its just a guess cos I'm not an expert of character formation. However what really gets to me is when people try to box me. For example on that specific day they'l see me wearing something or doing something and all of a sudden...Ive been tagged. When they see me doing something else and wearing something of a different style to when we met then they'l give me this attitude of "you're not like that, you're like that,you're being fake now" Um um um, I think I know myself better than you do. Like I have chubby cheeks right, when people see me they tag me as innocent, and I heard from my mate that this one guy is always feeling sorry for me that guys are going to play me because I'm so not streetwise bout men. Ok I'm really not gona comment about if I am or not streetwise bout guys or not.However that was very sweet of him to sympathise,and he is a great guy. So thank you for thinking about me. But really people lets just get to know a person before we start spinning stories. Like I remember Tyra Banks saying that people were like her show is gona fail because they'd boxed her into being nothing else but a model.I think if you have a complex personality its hard to define yourself as of a specific character, so people just wana define you and place you in one box to make things easier. Its so frustrating sometimes cos its like they just wana force you into this one box and how dare you step out cos thats what they know you as now.Sigh sigh. For anyone who is suffering from being INBOXED dont allow people to define you,be the complexity you are and jump from one box to the other.

talent!

Writing the post about Motown has prompted me to write a post on talent. The post on Motown has made me realise how important sharing ones talent is. Yes Myles Munroe has said it,talk shows have had it as a topic and my spiritual brothers such as Loyiso Twala have told me... That we should make the best of the talent that God has given us. Looking at the musicians from motown,their music is still a blessing to us to this very day.We sing happy birthday 2 ya, just lyk Stevie Wonder even today.So our talent wasnt only given to us, just for our means but it was given for us to bless the whole world with it. Whether it be your beauty,brains,a sexy voice,sports or a characterisic like humility. Find out what makes you different or stand out from other people, dont be scared and lets go out to bless people with our talents!

Dream

I met this guy called Dream,he was everything a girl could want from a man. He had a ride,wore designer clothes and stayed in an uptown flat in the most beautiful part of town. My new boyfriend Dream was amazing.Our future together was all we talked bout,I told him i used to dream bout him and now he was here. On our very first date I got dressed and waited for him at the upclass restaurant we were going to dine in. I waited,an hour turned into 3,when i called him,Dream wouldnt pick up. I started to panick,my mind began to race. It was getting late and I had no transport to take me home. My dream? Where was he? Could he have been for real or had i convinced myself that he had existed...then everything came back to me...He was someone else's Dream. Im open and bubbly why was I with Dream,a guy thats quite and seems to think 1 sentence makes for a quality conversation.Creativity came easily to me like it was an extention of my 5 senses while he got a mental rush from numbers,ink and paper. It was then, sitting on the wooden bench outside the restaurant,that I realised that this was the best thing that had ever happened to me since I'd met Dream. The end of my relationship with Dream was the beginning of my relationship with Truth.A relationship that bought me joy while sharing a small apartement and driving a second had car. I was happy with Truth no matter what was going on externally. Because I knew that with Truth it was going to last forever...The passion we had for each other would be our foundation that would hold us sturdy when the winds blew. Truths wisdom guided me and led me to prosperity, Prosperity that had come from his passion for me. The prosperity that I had with Dream was easy and instant,he bought me all the things i needed and when he left so did my prosperity. With truth,he gave me the wisdom to get it, it wasnt easy,i had 2 wait long to get it. But the wisdom I had from Truth would always be engraved in my heart. The only time it would leave is when my heart stopped beating.

Motown!

Iv been inspired to write a blog about Motown cos of Mr Smokey Robinson. He follows all his followers on twitter!! Wow! What an awesome celebrity! Ok i dont know the intricate details about Motown, but i know that its made a huge impact in the lives of many. Motown was the first record label to be owned by AFRICAN AMERICANS, wow! in a time of racial segregation in America! And Mr Smokey Robinson was the deputy president while Mr Berry Gordy was the president. They had signed on to their label, LEGENDS like Marvin Gaye, the four tops, the supremes,the temptations,the Jackson five and my personal favourite Mr Stevie Wonder! So much talent! Mr Smokey Robinson was also an artist under motown with his group The miracles. He also wrote songs for the artists of motown. He wrote my FAVOURITE SONG by the temptations called "the way u do the things do" and the famous "My girl." The impact of motown also hit SOUTH AFRICA, i mean look at the artists that came out of the SOPHIA TOWN era,And it crossed over to the white race.Yes Motown is the greatest record label of all time! Let me leave you with a line from my favourite song written by MR Smokey Robinson for the temptations "well you could have been anything that you wanted to and i can tell... The way you do the things u do"

Woke up with that song in my mind.

Its monday and i woke up with a song in my mind. Dont know who sings it, i can hear his voice in my head and it sounds like an African american male. Might be from motown,or just from the early nighties. Ok the lines goes- "wake up everybody no more sleeping in bed,no time for backward thinking time for thinking ahead..." il try findout who sings it and il update it on this post. Lataz! Ok i just came back from googling it ( you just gotta love technology man) the song was written in 1975,it was written as a form of social awareness. The group that sang it was HAROLD MELVIN AND THE BLUE NOTES. They sang soul music (my favourite genre) Harold Melvin the lead singer died in 1997, however the most famous singer from the group was none other than TEDDY PENDEGRAS! Il leave you with the chorus from wake up everybody..."the world wont go no better if we just let it be, the world wont go no better if we just let it be, we gotta change it yeah just just you and me."

Not 2 Afro

Iv decided not to grow a fro. Im just not up 2 cutting my hair and starting all over again.ADMIN,you'd know what i mean if you relax your hair. So unless ngiqothuka ( just cant translate that word, it carries to much emotion 4 one to describe) i aint gona grow an afro.Afros are still beautiful but I'm lazy. So the decision is final...not 2 afro.

The things that I love...

I love the fact that Lira has an inspiring story. I love jelly beans. I still love my ex,and that sucks! I love the black freckle above my right eye brow. I love the fact that Nelson Mandela said the architects of apartheid should be forgiven.I love doing something edgy,outa my character once in a while. I love the fact tha Barrack Obamas dad is an African. I love the song "Jesus is love" by the commodores and its even better when Monifah sings it. I love the fact that i can now say "i love my big boobs," hahaha, cos dam i hated having big boobs when i was a teen. I love my hips. I love the fact that God gave up his son so that we could have eternal life. I love the friends that iv made in my early twenties, I love opera mini. I love laughing,like random people make me LAUGH, that father from american pie with the thick eyebrows,hahaha. i love feeling the tiny curls in an AFRO.And I love you!

Lesson from my early twenties.

1) Growing up SUCKS! No lyk honestly,i think its the waiting 4 things to happen. Waiting for mr right,waiting for a call after the interview.No one likes waiting 2) HOWEVA, once you accept that life is challenging and give it to God 2 run, u have less weight on your shoulders and it becomes easier 3) people can be such.... But there are angels on earth aswell.4) people talk s@$t, so listen 2 da beat of your heart. If its a beat of unhappiness,then that says alot! Leave da cheating... 5) love yourself and everyone will,the relationship you have with yourself is the type you'l have with other people. 6) The bible contains alot of wisdom and will be relevant till the end of time 7) lots of people are going through what your're going through. Your're not alone. 8) Enjoy the stage that you're currently in,dont skip stages. Dont act 25 in your teens. Every stage is a preparation for the next stage. 9) You got to love your chosen career, love and passion are the emotions that will keep you going when things get tough. 10) number 9 iv realised also applies to dating and probably marriage. You gotta love him before anything else. When he's lost his job,love is left and will push you to stay 11) I believe,personaly that people get depresd and bipolar because they dont trust God. Once you know him you know that your life is safe in his hands and he has good things planned for you,adversity is temporary.Thats My personal opinion. 12) concentrate on your life and forget what others are doing and saying. Trust me you'l be so happy. When someone wants to tell you the nasty things being said bout you, dont listen. 13) PUSH-(p)ray (u)ntil (s)omething (h)appens (15) i love jelly beans! (16) its hard being good to others,Its hard and thats why therez a reward to it 17) BE HUMBLE!!! EVERYTHING comes from God. AND no likes a stuckup skank,gosh guess they dont like me...lol jokn, Im not stuckup. 18) men,hmmm i still know nothing bout that species..... Those are the lessons i've learnt in my 23 years especially the last four yearz. I've still got a lot to learn and I pray the lord blesses me with many more years.

Early Twenties.

Im turning 23 in a couple of days time.My twenties,that being the last four years,have been...whats the word,hmmm.Crazy? Nah that aint the word..maybe,they'v been profound. Can i use that word to describe my early twenties? Ok well iv learnt alot,yea thats descriptive enough (I wana make sure you understand) and im gona share with you what iv learnt these past 4yrs (oh arent u special) lol. Ok read the next bloggie thingy.The post, called "lessons from my early twenties."

The heart of an African.

Im an African living in Africa and i just wish things for this continet would go good. It sucks- seeing kids with pot bellies and flies on their mouths,the zimbabwean situation, child soldiers and the xenophobic violence.The Zimbabwean situation,my thoughts on that is...they need to forgive their oppresors and maybe things will clear up. Their unforgivenes caused them to oppress their oppressors and gues what, the cycle continued, all that happened was that they kept on taking steps backward. Its when i look at whats going on in Zimbabwe that i realise how much truth christians speak when they say that the bible will always be relevant. The bible says we should forgive 70X70 times. With forgiveness we grow and move on. Without it we stand in one position or go backwards. Hope that we as Africans can move on and forgive,leave the farmers with the farms, they know what they are doing instead of giving it to people who wont do anything on the land,im sure those people can be compensated with residential land somewhere and not farms.Now looking at S.A i just really wonder about BEE,there has got to be a way of empowering black people without leaving the white race out. I dont know,its a tricky one cos my heart burns when i see the poverty that my fellow men are subjected to. Cant we just all be wealthy, lol.

2 Afro or not 2 Afro!

The AFRO! For me an AFRO is a symbol of African pride. It shows that one is real and less concerned about conforming to what media views as beauty. I had an AFRO in grade 11 and 10 and it grew to be a beauty! Then i relaxed it (one of my regrets) for my dance. I promised myself to have it again when id finished a particular stage in my life and entered a new one. That was either entering into the work place after i was done with varsity or when my acne subsides. My acne has subsided (Thank you dear Jesus) and soon soon (i hope hope) that il be entering my next stage of life. Howeva! The afro dream is being contended with :( my relaxed hair is lookn so good and is grown to a good length. So the question stil stands....2 AFRO OR NOT 2 AFRO?

Procrastination-my enemy!

Iv realy procrastinated this week and it sucks! I need 2 get my act 2getha. Hate regreting it when i have 2 be peform and i look back at the time i wasted.

Whats going on?

My life has been less dramatic lately, FINALY! Just people around me seem to be having more drama. I pray 4 them and im being sincere. Oh wel hope something good happens soon and il blogg about it! Yay. Love that word-yay!